So, Mason did get a job at Meijer on the third shift. Sucks that I don't really get to snuggle with him at night now. It's hard sleeping without him. Once we do move, I've going to try and get a job at Meijer, too, also on third shift. It pays good.

On that note, yes, we will be moving to new apartments at the end of November! It's going to be great to have a place to call our own. I'm so excited!

And on a more art related note, I would like to announce that I am planning on finishing The Wolf, and I would also like to do some illustrations for the fic. It's really the only fanfiction I've ever stated that I desperately wanted to finish because I liked the idea so much. I realized last night, after I uploaded the seventh chapter, that I never uploaded the sixth chapter to deviantART! I'm sorry about that guys, I'll try to find the time to upload the sixth chapter, I promise! But until then, if you want to read the fic in its entirety, you can always go on my fanfiction.net account, it's all there.

Oh, and everyone should listen to Ellie Goulding's new flippin' amazing album: Halcyon. Here's a YouTUBE link for you guys that has the whole album: [link]

I would suggest listening to:

Don't Say a Word, Figure 8, Joy, Atlantis, Hanging On, Anything Could Happen, and Only You. Great songs. The whole album is wonderful, I promise! <3

Just thought I would give you guys an update since I recently have access to a computer. Love you guys! <3

Hey guys! It's been a really long time, I know. I've just been busy, trying to get settled down with who I may as well call my fiance. We've been moving back and forth a lot and have been too broke to do anything, really. We're eating Ramen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It sucks! LOL, but hey, it's better than nothing. Hopefully, my fiance can get a job here really soon. Once he's working, we should be fine.

So yeah, that's why it's been so long since the last update. I just didn't have internet, not to mention a computer. I feel really bad for keeping this place dead. :C I'm trying to come back, guys, I really am. It's just difficult to do when you're struggling to pay the little bills you have. I would take up commissions, but I have no way to even post them at the moment. ;__;

I hope everything is going well for the rest of you! I miss you all very much!

Hey guys. Besides Tumblr, I am now pretty active on YouTUBE. I talk about video games, art, philosophy, cosplay, all that stuff. I'm still learning about making VLOGS and stuff like that, so please be patient with me! Currently, I'm planning on doing a VLOG series on the SCIENM challenge for Final Fantasy VII. (Solo Character. Initial Equipment. No Materia.) I may also make a VLOG series about my attempts at cosplaying Aerith Gainsborough.

Here's a link to my YouTUBE account: youtube.com/theashleyalive

Hey guys, I'm finally uploading video of myself to the intarwebz! *le gasp* Help me out with Cosplay? Or just listen to me talk and stare at my hideousness, haha! (I'm not wearing any make-up and I didn't straighten my hair for the video). [link]

I apologize to you guys, I really do. I used to be soooo active, but now I seem to only appear here when I'm checking messages. I owe people art, still, and I still have yet to get a computer or a scanner. It'll happen soon, it will, I promise. Money is just so tight all the time. I really do need a better job. Unfortunately, when you don't have a car, that can be very difficult.

If any of you want to see me be active, your best bet is to check out my tumblr. (PianoxLullaby.tumblr.com) I post things that inspire me and sometimes talk about my stories. Adversus Lucifer seems to be the one that gets the most attention on tumblr. There have been new characters in the works and I've been trying to come up with new ideas for things.

I'm sorry for my lack of activity. I really am. I haven't even been keeping up a journal or anything of the sort. I'm mostly only active on Tumblr (pianoxlullaby.tumblr.com) so if you want to chat with me or hear about any updates from me, you  might as well go there because I'm rather dead here at the moment.

I really just want to go on adventures. So bad. I just want to get up and go and run to someplace far, far away. I want to see new things, have new experiences, learn new things. I'm tired of this place. I mean, it will always be my home, but I need a break from it. I need something new, someplace new, some new people. I need adventure like its nobody's business.

I feel like my art isn't getting anywhere. Then again, I haven't really been drawing, nor have I really been inspired to. It saddens me. I should probably fix that sometime soon. Things have just been so busy, what with the new boyfriend living in Maryland and my job and now I'm going on vacation in North Carolina for a week and then there's all the bills to pay and things of that nature. I feel like there just isn't enough time in the day. A;LKDSJFALKDFJDSKLFJ It's frustrating.

Oh well. I'm sure I'll figure something out.

How are the rest of you?

I'm so crazy about this guy. He's the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last before I fall asleep. He makes me feel like I'm worthwhile and he's so easy to talk to. I can just ramble on and on like an idiot and he doesn't mind at all. He tells me how beautiful I am and how he can't wait to see me again. He goes through all this trouble and is willing to spend hundreds of dollars just to see me for one day. We have so much in common that it's crazy. Sometimes, I wonder if we might be the same person, ha ha! <3

It's only been two weeks and I'm going fucking crazy. I just wanna see him, again. I don't know if I'll make it to August. Baby, I just wanna see you again.

I'm looking around myself and feeling an emptiness. Cold and damp and bright. It's an emptiness that's blinding and leaves echoes in the air. Where have all the faces gone? Where are all the colors? I know I departed this place for some time, but this isn't the haven I used to know. The place that gave me feelings of togetherness is suddenly a place that is so barren that it's haunting. It's like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, but nothing is coming out. This is like one of those dreams where you wake up in a cold sweat. It's kind of frustrating, actually.

Where did all you lovely people go? ;___; I miss the discussions I used to have with everyone. I miss hearing from all of you and I miss your opinions. I'm sorry I left, but I'm kind of back now!! Please come back to me!

I just pissed off a bunch of Cloti's on Tumblr. Or maybe it's the same one who just keeps messaging me under Anonymous, lol. I didn't even do anything to permit legitimate anger! I just stated my opinion! For real!

You know, I think I might be starting to learn to appreciate Tifa as a character much more. I still cannot stand her paired with Cloud, don't get me wrong, but I feel if she would just drop the whole thing with Cloud (which I do believe she has as far as Advent Children goes. As much as it was a moving on story for Cloud, I think it was one for her, too) then she wouldn't be so bad. She's actually a very human character (albeit, sending feminism back quite a few centuries) with normal flaws. She can be selfish, unsure, forceful, hesitant, and even a little neglectful (though I'm sure its accidental). She has problems a lot of girls have. She keeps her thoughts and her feelings to herself and she just wants someone to take care of her. (Again, she sets feminism back a bit. Depresses me how so many girls don't realize this)

Had Zack and Aerith lived, I think Tifa would be with Zack (and we all know I think Cloud and Aerith would be MARREEEED) and they would be great together. Zack has all the qualities that Tifa wants in a man. I just think they'd be wonderful together. Am I the only one that sees it?

So, as some of you may know, I am now in a relationship with a COMPLETE sweetheart. <3 He drives me crazy, in the good way. However... he is now living in Maryland. *dies* It's only for 5 months, but this shit still sucks. ;__;

Uuuuhm... that might actually be all the news I have, haha! I thought I would have more to update with, but I guess not.

Lullerz has Skype!
I'm Lullerz on it. Look me up!

If you're interested in creating some sort of organization with me, send me a note. Right now. If you're interested in trying to change the world, if you're interested in learning about ways you can make a difference, or if you want to start a movement, please, PLEASE, note me.

This isn't going to be a club. You aren't going to be paid. This is out of the kindness of your heart, and it will not be focused on one issue.
Please get into contact with me ASAP. Thank you.

~Lully

A great deal of the people across the internet have both watched and formed an opinion on the movie: Kony 2012. Some are pro, some are anti. If you have not yet watched this short film, please do: [link]

It's made by the leader of the Organization that calls themselves Invisible Children, and their goal is to have Joseph Kony, a man who kidnaps children of Africa and forces them to become soldiers or sex slaves, arrested. The film brings to your attention that this atrocity has been going on for 20 years, and the majority of the world has been ignorant to it.

This film has inspired many to join the cause. It has inspired them to spread awareness, buy merchandise with Kony's name on it to give him infamy. It has inspired people to donate to help the cause. It has inspired.

But, of course, out of goodness, there must be an opposing opinion. I've seen Invisible Children being criticized, I've seen inspired YouTUBE viewers criticized for trying to spread awareness. You see blogs on Tumblr claiming that its sick to think you're making a change by creating blogs, changing avatars, linking to the video.

Excuse me, but since when did spreading awareness hurt a cause? It doesn't hurt it. Not one bit. Not all of us have the money to get a plane ticket to go straight to Africa. Those of us who don't have that, do what we can, and that is all that should matter. Do what you can. If all you can do is spread awareness, then do that. If you can donate a load of money, do that. If you can go to Africa and help the people out, do that! It's all good! IT'S ALL WONDERFUL! The fact that so many people even fucking care that these people in Africa are being abused, tormented and tortured is amazing. In a world where selfishness runs rampant, kindness and compassion is a miracle.

Who are you to judge someone for doing what they can for a cause? Is your criticism of this organization helping the people being tortured by Kony? Can you honestly say you're doing anything better? It doesn't matter if you're pro Invisible Children or not, what matters is that we, as HUMAN BEINGS, unite to a common cause that aims to make the world a better place. In the time you take to criticize a group, you could be using that time to come up with ideas, solutions to this atrocity.

As I see it: You don't have money? You have a mouth; spread the word. You have thoughts; brainstorm solutions. You have hands; reach out.

~Lully

Hey guys! I want to thank everyone for the birthday wishes and the presents! I loved each and every one of them!

I've been playing Zelda: Twilight Princess and Ocarina of Time 3D a lot. And, as strange as it is... I think I might kind of like Link and Midna... together. Weird. Oh, well! I'll remain a LinkxMalon fan forevah, though.

But, let me just say, Nintendo did the remake of OoT PERFECTLY. Like every game should be remade. It was done all in the same style, but details were added to make the worlds more real. There was actually furniture in homes, and vines actually looked like vines. The Bridge built by the Sages had much more detail, and just! Gah, everything was so beautiful! I'm working on getting all the Skulltula Spiders. I only have 5 more to go, and then I'll have all 100! Woo!

Haven't been able to finish Twilight Princess, yet. Friggin' LOVE MIDNA, OMGAH. She's so great. Love her to pieces.

I also bought Dead or Alive: Dimensions for my 3DS, and its pretty great, too! I LOVE ELIOT HE'S SO CUTE OMGSH!

So, gonna fill out mah taxes soon and with that money, Imma try to get a lappy top. I miss you guys so much and I miss being able to post art and stuffers! It will be just so wonderful when I'm able to come back! X3

OMG I GOT A GOOFY MOVIE ON DVD MY LIFE, MY CHILDHOOD, IS COMPLETE. OMG OMG OMG. I LOOOOOVE THAT MOVIE SO FUCKING MUCH.

And the voice of Max Goof... IS ALSO THE VOICE OF KOHAKU FROM SPIRITED AWAY AAAAND BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS! ALDKJFAKLDJFAKLDJF!!!! BEST VOICE ACTOR EVER!

Also... So jealous of Sophie, I want Howl.

OH MY LANTAH, WHO LOVES WATCHES DANCE CREWS? CHECK THIS SHIT OUT: [link]
WHEN SHE PULLS THEM ALL OMGAH OMGAH.

P.S. DID I MENTION I WANT TO DATE ADAM SEVANI LIKE WHOA? [link]

Just wanted to share. Donna got me a 3DS for my birthday (it's an early present) and just... FFFFF it's so gawjess.

Also, I JUST SAW THE NEW KH3D TRAILER A FEW HOURS AGO AND ALMOST CRIED. LEA/AXEL... MAH MAN <333

AND WTF SORA IS IN TROUBLE WTF OMG NOT MY BABY I NEED TO GO SAVE HIM!

And thank GOD Riku cut his fucking hair!

AND NIGHTMARE VENTUS ARMOR HOLY SHIT CREEPY AS FUCK.

So... my friend is letting me borrow his PSP so I can play Birth by Sleep. I friggin' love the Command Board, it's so much fun and I own at it. Also, I've started up the #HausofTateLangdon because he's such a great character and I love him so much and I was sad he didn't have a club yet. I'm so psyched for American Horror Story Season 1 to come out on DVD.

Also, I'm re-doing some OOOLD KH fanart I did years ago, when I first joined. I'm so excited to get a scanner and a computer so I can show you guys all the art I've been doing, and I'm also excited to be able to finally post up the final chapters of The Wolf. The story definitely ended up going in a bit of a different direction than I thought it would be after Bakura is revealed, but I kind of like it. It needs some edits, of course.

I really want to start up on my Aerith Cosplay. Like, sooo bad! I just need to get materials around... and a sewing machine. My friend who's letting me borrow BBS wants to do a cosplay, too, so maybe I can talk him into being Cloud or Sephiroth or Vincent or something so that I'm not all alone! D:

Okay, so... somehow, American Horror Story sucked me in. Scratch that, it wasn't "somehow" it was because of the character, Tate Langdon. He's so fucked and yet so attractive and it drives me crazy. His whole story, his pyche, his actions, his words, IT'S ALL A ROLLER COASTER OF WTF WHY DO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GAAAAAAAAAAAH YOU CRAZY FUCKER!? And I love it.

So yeah... Love Tate Langdon. I want Evan Peters for my birthday. Nuff said.

Advent has finally received a new title that I can be happy with. The words are both Latin, and its pretty obvious what they mean. As some of you may know, I've come up with TONS of ideas for Advent Adversus Lucifer (that's gonna take some getting used to) and it all started with me getting into deep, philosophical thought on the universe and God and Satan and their story. Anybody who's been keeping track of this specific story of mine knows that it has lots of Christian ideas and references, and so getting into this type of thinking usually leads to me getting more ideas for or altering Adversus Lucifer's plot/theme/meaning.

Basically, I'd been pondering the idea of Free Will, bad/evil events in the world, the universe and what lies beyond it, and mankind's responsibility/cause in it all. I hear all the time that God must not exist because bad things happen, to which many believers respond: Well, we have Free Will, so in the end, human is solely responsible for all the misfortune in the world. But, now there's a new response (which isn't so new for me, because it is one that I fought with for years until I cried trying to find the answer) which asks: But if God is omnipotent/all-knowing, why would he create the sole being responsible for the bad/temptations (Lucifer/Satan)? Which then got me to wondering, what all must've happened before the dawn of the star which would have created Earth?

Hopefully, I don't lose anyone here, because I tend to just start going on a frenzie when I type this stuff out.

I mean, so many people think they can outsmart God and can therefore not exist or must be a sick MOFO. But... if we could, wouldn't we be able to do all the things a god could supposedly do or comprehend? Like... eternity, for instance. Can you really wrap your mind around the idea that something can never stop? Like, say, the universe. It is ever expanding. On all sides. You can NEVER go full-circle through the universe because it is ever expanding and there is NOTHING beyond its borders to cause it to stop. And the universe itself is a vast space of NOTHING. That means it is NOTHING. EXPANDING. FOREVER. There isn't any such thing as "the ends of the universe." Much like Time, it is unstoppable. TIME WILL NEVER STOP. Even once the earth is gone, because moments will always pass by. You know how in stories, people "stop" Time? EVEN THEN, Time is not stopped, because each moment that their time is stopped is still a length of Time. Time is an unstoppable force of measurement because of MOMENTS. YOU CAN NEVER GET A SPECIFIC MOMENT OF TIME BACK.  Do you get what I'm saying? Can you REALLY wrap your mind around there never being a LAST number? That you can continue to add zero's FOREVER? Really think about it. Can you really explain how that works in a concrete way? Not really... I mean, how can there be NOTHING beyond the Universe? And what started it? Where did it come from? Why is it there!? THERE IS NO EXPLANATION. HOW CAN NOTHINGNESS EXIST? What created the idea of NOTHINGNESS THAT EXPANDS AND HOLDS MASSES SO LARGE?

And, considering all this thought on Time I was doing, I wondered, if Time is an unstoppable force of measurement that will always continue and never end, did it ever begin? Or was it always? How far back can one go? And to a God, what is a thousand, million, billion, TRILLION years? What must happen in the realm of God and the Angels? What all is there that humans don't know simply because we haven't been told or because our limited, human minds couldn't comprehend things that happen? As a God or an Angel, these things (Time, the Universe, Eternity) must seem so elementary, so what sorts of unbelievable scopes of knowledge and history must the Realm of Gods and Angels have? Can you imagine something greater than the idea of Eternity? Something so vast and complicated that even knowing about it might cause one's mind to explode if they tried to comprehend it if not a God or and Angel?

What must have come before us? What is God and Lucifer's and the other Angel's story? Where do we come into it? What do we already know? What COULDN'T we know even if we tried?

THIS. This is what Adversus Lucifer is going to get into, and I'm SO excited to delve into the possibilities. Basically, Adversus Lucifer is going to tell you an in-depth account of my thoughts, my  beliefs, my theories, and my ideas on God, Right vs. Wrong, The Universe, and Humankind. I have never been so excited for one of my own stories in... Fuck, I don't think EVER.

TL;DR: HOW DO I THINK OF THIS SHIT IT COMES FROM NOWHERE? AM I ALONE?

I has a TUMM-- BLAAGHR NOW BITCHES.

Follow it if you want to live --> pianoxlullaby.tumblr.com